When Summer Break Feels More Like Summer Breakdown
Everyone always talks about how amazing summer break is. Freedom! No homework! Sleeping in! And don't get me wrong – I love the idea of all that. But as I'm sitting here at the end of May, watching my friends post about their exciting summer plans and job announcements, I can't shake this weird anxious feeling in my stomach.
Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but the transition from school to summer actually stresses me out more than finals week sometimes.
I know I should be excited. Three months with no alarm at 6:30 AM sounds like heaven. No more cramming for tests or stressing about that history project I definitely procrastinated on. Summer should mean freedom, adventures, maybe even some fun for once.
But here's what nobody talks about: all that freedom can feel overwhelming when you're used to having every hour of your day planned out. During the school year, I know exactly where I need to be and when. First period at 8 AM, lunch at 12:15, soccer practice at 3:30. It's not always fun, but there's something comforting about that routine.
Now suddenly it's like... what do I do with myself?
And then there's all the pressure that comes with summer "freedom." Everyone expects you to do something meaningful. Get a job. Volunteer somewhere impressive. Take a summer course to get ahead. Plan for college applications. Be productive!
My parents keep asking what my summer plans are, and honestly? I don't really know. Some of my friends already have internships lined up or cool jobs at the local pool. Others are doing expensive summer programs that sound amazing but also terrifying. Meanwhile, I'm over here still trying to figure out if I'm ready for the responsibility of a real job.
The job hunt itself is its own kind of anxiety. Writing cover letters when you have zero work experience. Hoping someone calls you back. Wondering if you'll be good enough, smart enough, responsible enough. What if I mess up? What if I hate it? What if they hate me?
I think what gets to me most is how the lack of structure messes with my head. During school, even when I'm stressed, I know what's expected of me. But summer feels like this big blank space where I'm supposed to magically know how to fill my time in a "meaningful" way.
Some days I wake up at noon and feel guilty about it, even though technically I can sleep as late as I want. Other days I have so much free time that I just scroll social media for hours and then feel worse about myself. It's like I need someone to tell me what to do, but also I want independence. It's confusing.
I'm still figuring this out, but I've found a couple of things that help when the summer anxiety hits:
Creating my own routine: I know it sounds weird to voluntarily give yourself structure when you finally have freedom, but it actually helps. I started setting a (reasonable) wake-up time for myself and planning one or two things for each day, even if it's just going for a walk with my dog or reading for an hour. It gives me something to anchor to without being as rigid as school.
Talking to friends about it: Turns out I'm not the only one feeling this way! When I finally mentioned to my best friend that summer transitions stress me out, she was like "OMG yes, me too!" We've started checking in with each other about how we're doing with all the changes. Sometimes just knowing you're not alone in feeling anxious makes it way more manageable.
I'm still working on accepting that it's okay to not have the "perfect" summer planned out. Maybe I won't get that impressive internship or meaningful volunteer position. Maybe I'll work a regular part-time job and spend some days just hanging out with friends or catching up on shows I missed during the school year.
And you know what? That's probably okay too.
To anyone else feeling anxious about summer break: you're not alone. Take it one day at a time, be patient with yourself, and remember that there's no "right" way to spend your summer. We'll figure it out as we go.
Maya F. is 17 years old.