From Rock Bottom to Recovery: My Journey with Gambling Disorder in College
When I first stepped onto campus at Indiana University as a freshman, I never imagined that gambling would become the center of my life. What started as casual poker nights in the dorm quickly spiraled into an all-consuming addiction that nearly cost me everything.
The Beginning
It was innocent at first—$20 buy-ins with friends on Friday nights. I was pretty good, and winning felt amazing. That dopamine rush was unlike anything I'd experienced. Soon I discovered online poker sites and sports betting apps. Between classes, I'd place "just one bet" to make watching games more exciting.
My roommate noticed I was staying up until 3 AM most nights, hunched over my laptop, but I dismissed his concerns. I was in control. I could stop anytime.
The Spiral
By sophomore year, gambling had taken over. I'd skip classes to bet on European soccer matches happening during the day. I started taking out small loans and maxing out credit cards. I borrowed money from friends, always promising to pay them back after my "big win" came through.
The worst part wasn't losing money—it was what happened when I won. Each win convinced me I could recover everything if I just kept going. I developed elaborate betting systems I was certain would work. When they didn't, I'd double down, chasing losses with increasingly desperate bets.
Rock Bottom
My breaking point came during finals week of junior year. I had emptied my savings, owed thousands in credit card debt, and burned bridges with friends I'd borrowed from. After losing my entire monthly budget in one night, I sat alone in my room, unable to afford groceries, my phone shut off for nonpayment. I couldn't even call home to ask for help because I was too ashamed.
That night, I wrote an email to the campus counseling center. It was the hardest message I've ever sent, but also the most important.
The Road to Recovery
The counselor connected me with a gambling addiction specialist and a local Gamblers Anonymous group. At my first GA meeting, I was shocked to see people my age. I wasn't alone.
Recovery wasn't linear. I installed blocking software on my devices to prevent access to gambling sites. I turned over financial control to my parents temporarily while I learned to manage money again. Most importantly, I began addressing the underlying issues—anxiety, impulsivity, and my distorted thinking about money and risk.
Where I Am Today
Two years into recovery, I've repaid most of my debts. I've rebuilt friendships and found healthy ways to enjoy sports without betting. I still attend weekly support meetings and have become a peer counselor for other students struggling with gambling problems.
The statistics about gambling disorder among college students are alarming—up to 6% develop serious problems, higher than the general population. But recovery is possible.
Three Key Takeaways for Anyone Struggling
Recognize the warning signs early. If you're hiding your gambling, chasing losses, or borrowing money to gamble, these are serious red flags. Gambling disorder progresses rapidly, especially in high-stress environments like college.
You don't have to face this alone. Campus counseling centers, national helplines (1-800-GAMBLER), and Gamblers Anonymous groups exist specifically for this problem. The relief of finally sharing my secret was immediate and profound.
Recovery requires addressing the whole person. Gambling disorder isn't just about willpower—it involves brain chemistry, emotional regulation, and often co-occurring issues like anxiety or depression. A comprehensive approach including therapy, support groups, and financial counseling makes lasting recovery possible.
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself or someone you care about, please know that help is available. The shame kept me silent for too long. There is no shame in struggling, and there's certainly no shame in reaching out for help.
Scott R. is a 21-year-old student at Indiana University Bloomington, majoring in Political Science